08 - Transforming Stress with Simplified Thinking

Simplicity is the unifying theme of this episode, where we explore how understanding our minds can lead to greater balance and freedom. Through personal stories and insights, we discuss practical ways to embrace simplicity in daily life and how it can alleviate overwhelm. 
• A firsthand story of overwhelm in the nursing profession 
• Realization of the power of stepping back to gain clarity 
• Exploring the concept of subtractive psychology 
• The importance of a settled mind in accessing wisdom 
• Utilizing natural resilience as a tool for balance 
• Overcoming the habit of complicating life 
• Recognizing our innate ability to return to calm 
• Practical tips for simplifying life and letting stress roll in and roll out
• A call to reflect on personal strategies for embracing simplicity

Chapters

• 0:00 Understanding the Simplicity of Life
• 16:59 Unlocking Inner Peace and Clarity

Transcript

Wendy: 0:00

Welcome to Two Nurses and a Therapist. I'm Wendy, and I'm here with my colleagues Tyson Larson and Lori Carpenos, and we are going to talk to you today about simplicity. Isn't the word even nice the way it rolls off your tongue? Simplicity? Oh, one of the great things about this understanding, this inside out understanding, is I think Tyson and I were talking about this just before we got on the power and the um, the the great relief that the simplicity brings when you understand, when we understand how our mind works and how we experience life. Um, I have a great little story that just happened to me yesterday to kind of illustrate this.

Wendy: 0:49

And so yesterday I still work as a nurse and I was covering for a second nurse who was out sick, and it was Monday, and we answer calls from patients and we answer calls from people who are in chronic pain, and so it's a Monday. A lot of calls came in on Friday night. A lot of calls came in on Saturday. A lot of calls came in on Sunday. It's a typical Monday, but my colleague was out on this particular Monday, so I had my inflow of patient questions to answer and I kind of deal with a certain part of the body, the foot and my colleague deals with the back mostly, so I had all these foot pain questions, and then I had to address her back pain questions, and it was just a lot, and what ended up happening is I worked right through lunch. My butt was in the chair the whole time. I had every intention of going on three 20 minute walks during the day. That didn't happen. I had every intention of drinking you know five glasses of water. That didn't happen. I had every intention of drinking five glasses of water. I didn't have time to get up and fill my water bottle. I mean, come on, I didn't have time. Is that true? Probably not. I probably could have done it.

Wendy: 2:13

What I noticed, though, was that, at the end of the day, I said I feel so overwhelmed a little bit, and this is reminiscent of a time 15 years ago when I actually suffered burnout. I had that same feeling, and I remember pushing myself away from my desk at my office that day and saying I'm done, I don't care if I wake up tomorrow, I am cooked, I'm done, and it resulted in me having an emergency room evaluation and being put on I don't remember which drug it was and having to go to therapy for a little while and you know I got through it, but I was burnt out. What I realized yesterday at the end of the day was my heart rate was going up and I was feeling like I hadn't managed everything very well all day long. And then I said, yeah, that's just what it feels like right now. I want you to just take yourself out for a walk. So I did.

Wendy: 3:11

I went out for a walk with my husband. I made myself a nice dinner to make up for the bad lunch that I didn't even have. I drank some water and I was just so grateful that I understood that I didn't pour gas on my own fire and say, oh, you're not managing well, oh, you're not coping well, oh, this job is overwhelming. I didn't keep fanning or feeding. It's just so much more simple than that. I was so, so grateful. You know what I mean, tyson.

Tyson: 4:09

You know what I mean, tyson? Um, and just that recognition just leaves enough space for wisdom to come in and bring you on the walk, bring you a cup of tea, bring you a nice dinner or the ideas to do all of those things where, when we don't have that space to allow wisdom to come in, we keep getting back up in our heads and we try to figure it out and we blame. I've noticed a lot lately that anytime my thoughts go towards blaming somebody or something else outside of me, that it's really just a call to return back into oh, it's my thinking and to slow down. And the word simplicity I love that word because our brains want to complicate things. Our brains that's what they're designed to do to solve problems and unfortunately, a lot of times they create problems to solve just to give themselves something to do. So by allowing that, that, that space to come in, we we allow for for wisdom and um, come back to the simplicity of the principles.

Tyson: 5:19

And and also, people want something to do. They want to know that when they see their thinking okay, that's great, I see my thinking. Now what? Unfortunately? Unfortunately, the answer is nothing, and I know how incredibly frustrating that sounds, especially to someone who's used to being in a busy mind, because that was me and I didn't even recognize that for so long and I'm still really coming to see how busy my mind is, even now and when you can just stop, don't try to figure anything out. The answers just appear out of nowhere when you give them space to. And there is no how, there is no what to do, and how simple is that.

Wendy: 6:20

When we're talking about simplicity. How simple is that? There really is nothing to do. There's no mantra to remember, there's no going to a meditative state. There's no nothing, it's just. There's another. There's one of the teachers in this conversation. His name is Jamie Smart. I love what the phrase he's coined subtractive psychology. It isn't psychology with something to do, it's actually and chase and analyze and figure out. It's subtractive psychology. It's sitting back, leaning in to the fact that our bodies and minds will recalibrate on their own. You know, we talked about it before with homeostasis.

Wendy: 7:09

Yes, you know our bodies know what to do if we're out of breath. We stop, we put our hands on our knees, we try to catch our breath. The body knows what to do. Naturally, it puts us in a position to get more oxygen in or use less oxygen. Tyson, have you ever heard Jamie Smart talk about subtractive psychology?

Tyson: 7:30

I have. Yeah, he's brilliant at teaching the principles and talking about that and I love that. And what comes to mind is you were talking about meditation and you don't need to do meditation. You don't need, there's nothing to do, and we were speaking to that. And I don't want to discount the value in meditation or yoga or going for a walk or anything. It's the way in which you approach it. If you approach it with a busy mind, thinking that's going to settle you down, and just reaching and reaching and reaching and grabbing at things, that still isn't the subtractive psychology that we're talking about. It's when you are in a settled place and you're like, oh, you know what a meditation would be nice or, oh, I should go for a walk right now. It's a. There's a different flavor there, and so we I don't want to think, I don't want to give the impression that any of those those things to do are bad or unhelpful, because they can be very helpful is the way in which you go about it, and also there's no wrong way either.

Wendy: 8:38

Yeah, oh, I love what you're saying. I love what you're saying. Yeah, when the mind is settled, what appeals to us to do or not? Do we're going for that leading of wisdom? You know what I mean, Lori.

Lori: 8:52

Yeah, absolutely, isn't it something that we are wired up? We are created, we are however you want to think of it, our system is the same psychologically as it is physically, as far as being on what I would call like an autopilot, as far as nature, taking care of how we go about things when we're not trying to fix something or fix ourselves or overthinking. When we quiet our mind down. When we quiet our thinking down, we see the path, we see how to go. So, like Tyson was saying, that meditation, taking a walk, whatever you are drawn to, is great as long as you're not thinking. I need that in order. I need the walk, I need the meditation.

Lori: 10:00

I need the yoga, you know. It reminds me of a time I was at a reservation desk at a hotel, you know, and I was waiting my turn. And I was waiting my turn and the person in front of me was asking about the gym and found out that the hours of the gym and they weren't coinciding with the hours he was going to be there. He had a conference to go to and this fellow got really, really upset Isn't that interesting, you know? And innocently, he did not know the connection between his state of mind and he didn't need the gym. He needed to understand how the mind works, how the most important thing is getting to a state of mind that is peaceful, and then, once you're in that state of peace, and then you see what to do Okay, the gym is closed.

Lori: 11:07

Let's see what other alternatives are there.

Wendy: 11:11

Yeah, that's a great example. And yeah, Tyson, what were you going?

Tyson: 11:16

to say Well, I was just going to say that it's like the aperture opens, you're not so focused on I need to get to the gym. I need to get to the gym and you allow for more creative solutions. Oh, I can go for a walk or I can do yoga in my room, or whatever the case may be, but there there's different solutions than just I need to get to the gym, and that anger can kind of dissipate too, of like oh wait, I don't have to get to the gym and I don't have to be rude to this person in front of me because the gym's closed.

Lori: 11:45

So and it's interesting how simple it is. The simplicity of that, but there's the piece of understanding. When any of us got a glimpse of understanding, this life got simpler.

Wendy: 12:07

It got easier so much so I wish I was with you guys in real time so we could high-five each other on a three-way high-five. I mean, really, that's the only reason we do this podcast. Really, it's the only reason we're talking to our friends in the trenches and on the front lines is because the quality of life that we've individually experienced and now share with our clients and our mean it really really does the simplicity of it. It's just so huge and, tyson, you were sharing before we got on about a book you're reading currently.

Tyson: 12:51

Invisible Power Insight Principles at Work. And this is by Ken Manning, robin Sharbot Not sure if I have that pronunciation correct and then Sandra Kratt. But I'm at this point where they talk about resilience, which can be kind of a buzzkill word these days in the healthcare industry. We're all kind of tired of hearing about it. But his definition is resilience is simply your capacity to turn to your natural balance and your natural balance when you lose it.

Tyson: 13:24

And I just love that, the simplicity in that and the truth in that. You know, when we think that resilience is something we need to work at or to do, it complicates it. And his pointing is the simplicity and that what we've talked about is that homeostasis that is built in with us. It comes right back to that and I think of what's coming to mind is that if you pick at a wound, to mind is that if you pick at a wound, you're going to make it worse and it's not going to heal. The same thing is happening when you're trying to do different techniques to make yourself feel better. You're not just simply allowing your body to do what it needs to do, and that natural ability for us is to be settled and calm and peaceful.

Wendy: 14:17

Could you read that quote again? Nice and slow.

Tyson: 14:20

Resilience is simply your capacity to return to your natural balance and clarity when you lose it.

Lori: 14:31

You know, I got an image of that. You know the blow up dolls, like I had a Santa Claus when I was a child and you could push it down and it pops right back up. It's such a great image for me in describing the natural resilience we all have. We have to just get out of our own way. We have to get out of our own way. We have to get out of our own way. It's like trying to hold that dollop rather than, you know, just let it drop, rather than holding all the stressful thoughts in your mind. Thoughts in your mind.

Tyson: 15:17

It doesn't mean that we're always going to be in that balanced state. Life is a context for it, as Sidney Banks always said, and you're going to have stress. I think that's part of the human experience is to get caught up in your thinking. But as you understand that there is this homeostasis, you fall back into that much quicker and much more often when you understand where it's coming from. It's kind of like if you do get scraped and bruised, you learn what not to do to get scraped and bruised again. It doesn't mean you're never going to get scraped and bruised again, but in that situation it's probably not going to happen again because you've learned how to prevent it.

Wendy: 16:10

Yeah, that's great. And it just really this whole conversation I love. It's really pointing to simplicity. It's so much more simple than we've been trained as clinicians, certainly, and just as human beings. Go find, go find, manage the stress, you know, calm everything down, do enough, you know. Exercises, yoga, whatever. Drink enough water and life will be great.

Lori: 16:53

And yeah, it's just, it's just a lot simpler than that. Yeah, go ahead that. We go into our brain, because we're trained throughout life to rely on our brain to figure it out. And so this understanding that the brain is useful for certain things figuring out calculations, what time to leave the house- in order to be at work on time, things of that nature.

Lori: 17:23

But when we go in the direction of a peaceful state of mind, it's like things fall into place on their own. I mean, isn't that beautiful that we're designed that way. It's so simple and we have learned erroneously how to complicate it.

Wendy: 17:47

Yeah, exactly, exactly. We get in our own way, as we say. So, yeah, this understanding, it's a game changer, for sure. So thank you for listening today. We're glad to be here Two nurses and a therapist and we'll see you the next time. Have a good day everyone.

Tyson: 18:06

If you have any questions or have a topic that you would like us to discuss, please leave it in the comments, and we love feedback, so please give us your feedback, thank you.